How to tell her
by Blue lace
Summary: your probobly thinking: oh no not another Song fic!


**BL: okay I had to write this song fic because I love this song, and it fit's in this situation, I don't own CCS (clamp does ) or The Special two (owned by Missy Higgins). Once again love this song! ( I'm such a geek) oh and it's my birthday tomorrow, yay!**

Tomoyo lay on her bed, allowing the thick blanket underneath her to consume her almost entirely, she had been hiding in a random room in her house for days and the maids were still franticly searching for her passing the room every few minuets. Tomoyo sat up and picked up a pen and paper, how could she express how she felt to Sakura, and later everyone else, but for now she thought a letter would be appropriate.

'Dear Sakura'

Tomoyo silently congratulated at creating readable writing, as her hand was shaking uncontrollably.

'I've hardly been outside my room in days,  
because I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.'

Tomoyo snorted, written it looked so pathetic, yet she knew it was true so she continued writing.

'_I remember you once said to me  
Lies will lock you up with truth the only key.'_

Tomoyo stopped again, Sakura wouldn't understand this letter, and if she did she would feel it so impersonal, knowing Sakura, she would have to find a way to make this more personal, more meaningful. Considering Sakura had been so hurt when she had found out in such an un-personal way in the first place, Tomoyo tapped her pen, thinking of all the wonderful things she and Sakura had experienced just them together.

Like when they had started accidentally talking and walking the same almost breathing at the same time, that had started when they were really small and Sakura was so oblivious she could hide with ease. There was also the time they had become blood sisters, so they could feel closer when they were apart, what was more important to Tomoyo though were little things like holding hands, giggling, whispering they were small unimportant things that people took for granted, but to Tomoyo it just made her love for her stronger.

Sakura had always been there for her, like when she was so nervous about her first singing recital, Sakura had encouraged her and told her in a moment of wisdom from a seven year old

'_Singing is a gateway to the soul Tomoyo, there is nothing that makes me happier than to see you sing and be happy, because when your happy, I'm happy.'_

Tomoyo laughed she had never noticed it but Sakura had said it first, she had said what Tomoyo often repeated

'_If you're happy I'm happy'_

Tomoyo thought more about what Sakura had said

'_Singing is a gateway to the soul'_

She now realised what she needed to do.

Tomoyo stood on stage, most of her friends were there, looking at her with confused or unknowing faces, her eyes flickered over to Sakura she sat patiently next to Syaoran looking up at her in a kind gentle way. And that was enough for her.

"_Hello"_

She said gaining everyone's attention

"_I called you all here so I could tell you all something, and I tried so many times, but I could never find the right things to say so I'll sing them."_

Before she started she looked up at what could be the last time they would ever look at her that way again, she tried to memorize everything. Rika's expectant half knowing look, which always gave her confidences, Nakoko's glazed over eyes, most probably thinking of a new story. Chiharu and Yamazaki silently bickering with their eyes, Meiling's Superior look and Syoran's slightly red glare. But most of all Sakura's hopeful kind eyes that would always look straight at her to matter what.

She started

"_I've hardly been outside my room in days, 'cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays. The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away, and it's then I realize the conscience never fades. When you're young you have this image of your life: That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife. And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross, and if you happen to you wake completely lost. But I will fight for you, be sure that I will fight until we're the special two once again."_

She looked at her friend's shocked faces, mostly because Tomoyo never drank, and she was mercilessly beating herself up with the words she sang.

'_And we will only need each other, we'll breathe together, Our hands would not be taught to hold another's, When we were the special two. And we could only see each other, we'd breathe together, These arms will not be taught to need another, 'Cause we were the special two.'_

She noticed eyes flickering towards Sakura, who still kept a constant eye contact with Tomoyo, urging her to continue poring out everything she had been waiting to hear.

'_I remember someone old once said to me: "Lies will lock you up with truth the only key." But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell, and couldn't see this place would soon become my hell. So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face? Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place. I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now, But if by chance you change your mind you know I will not Let you down 'cause we were the special two, and will be again.'_

Some faces had looks that obviously meant that realisation had dawned on them while others still looked around half clueless as to why Tomoyo was singing a song in such a sad desperate way. But Sakura still kept up her stare smiling, tapping to the beat of the guitar in the background, and ignoring Syoran who was looking at her in a perplexed way.

'_And we will only need each other, we'll breathe together, Our hands will not be taught to need another's, When we're the special two. And we could only see each other we'll breathe together, These arms will not be taught to need another...'_

Almost everyone had now realised what she was singing, and their eyes dodged from Tomoyo to Sakura and back again trying to find some solution to the new problem that was at hand.

'I step outside my mind's eye's for a minute. And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease, Or something that could ease the pain. But nothing cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself, Just remembering, just remembering how we were...'

After the last note had been sung, a silence rushed to fill the room, everyone watched speechlessly as Syoran suddenly stood up, clapping slowly and strongly, Sakura's eye's lite up snapping out of the daze she had been in, also standing clapping. Soon almost the entire room was clapping and smiling, Tomoyo noticed a few faltering faces.

But all was swept away from her mind and two feminie arms wrapped around her in love and acceptance that she only dreamed about.


End file.
